Margot Brown   342sFor me, the field of psychology was a wonderful love affair from the very beginning.It challenged me early on to work through my own stuff and learn to be present in this moment. I learned a lot as I grew within my own psyche (mind and soul), first with my masters degree and then with my doctorate.

Having been a therapist for years, I naturally worked full time in high-tech and saw clients at night. My private practice was always a part-time thing for me. Then, one day as jobs came and went, I realized that I had another skill set to fall back on. In my private practice, I reached out to those in need wanting to help as many as I could. In my private practice, I saw a lot of clients. I always said they were lined up around the block with a 2.5 month waiting list (true).

Of course, some of it was the fee base, but mostly it was because I am a solution-focused brief therapist. I have been that way for years long before HMO’s and managed care networks. Approximately 68% to 73% of my practice was 3-5 sessions or less for individuals. I saw couples for 8-10 sessions tops. If you showed up, I expected you to work just as hard as I was working and let me tell you, clients loved it and they told others.

As a result, my philosophical and therapeutic style evolved into what is now standard operating procedure for so many therapists in the healing modalities, namely: Mindfulness, MIND/BODY/SPIRIT, and a Holistic approach that empowers individuals to self-soothe and self-heal by using cognitions (thoughts), and CBT techniques in conjunction with Spiritual awareness!

I witnessed so many success stories. I remember one attorney came for his second session, and when he arrived he kept standing by the door. I welcomed him to come inside and sit on the couch. He refused. At first I didn’t understand what he wanted. Then, he said, “Margot, I just came by to shake your hand. That first session was amazing! I am good to go. I don’t need to come back right now. I learned so much and I feel so much better. Thank you.”

I wrote my first book Kickstart Your Relationship Now! to help people who like using books to supplement their own growth. It’s helpful for couples who have previously been to couple’s therapy and didn’t get the results they were hoping for, or for those who can’t afford therapy at this time.

In Kickstart, I examine extramarital affairs, game playing, shame and blame, arguing and the role sex, secrets and money play in your relationship. All in an effort to bring you the best, most practical advice to improve your marriage/relationship, as well as to help improve your relationship with yourself

I’m happy to share that I live my husband in the San Francisco Bay Area. I love hiking in the woods, reading murder mysteries & legal thrillers, watching action movies, and traveling.


Perspective is everything! The way you see it, the way I see it and how each and everyone of us sees something is unique. Yet, sometimes we listen to the news, or see an ad or read an article on the web and our perspective changes. Or, perhaps without even thinking about it, we find ourselves migrating to mostly how others see it.


But, when something occurs outside the realm of our day-to-day routine, it wakes us up and we all take notice. Once, I saw an elderly woman on the news being interviewed in response to an 82,000 acre mountain range fire that called for a state emergency. Her look and her words gave me a chill as I listened when she looked directly into the camera and remarked: “Regardless as to whether or not I lose my home, and I hope I don’t, I guarantee you, I will never look at life the same way.”

That shook me to my bones. Or, some would say to my Soul. Her words were potent. She didn’t cry, she didn’t shout out, she just said what she meant. It was her truth!

That’s perspective.  We take in new information via our senses (seeing, hearing, feeling, sensing, tasting, smelling), or, we might experience something and be responding to the demands of the moment. Whatever the modality, it’s the shift in perspective and the learning that we derive from it that is the beauty and power of life! In that moment, we shift our awareness and broaden our understanding of ourselves and of life! That’s the moment of magic.

I would venture to say that the woman on the newscast, didn’t brush it off if she went and found her house standing after that monstrous fire. I got a sense that she meant what she said.  In that moment she had awakened like the sleeping giant whose one eye pops open and awareness descends.

Life has lots of wake-up calls. However, I would not presume that we are wide awake for every wake-up call that passes us by. Sometimes, the sleeping giant just continues to snore. To me, the important thing is that at some point we not only open up our eyes and see what is happening around us, but we take in all that we need to, in order to survive and thrive. What do I mean by thrive? I mean: Learn, Grow and Evolve.


Personally and professionally I take those values to heart: Learn, Grow and Evolve.

If I don’t, then I’m just taking up space and standing still.  I’m not a cause fighter, rather more of a cheerleader to others. I help support others in achieving their potential, to help them propel themselves towards fulfilling their dreams, desires and hopes.

Throughout life as we grow chronologically in age, we grow taller and older. Hopefully, we also acquire information, education, knowledge, and life experience etc. All this compiles into our attitude (thoughts and feelings) and can influence our perspective (mindset). Ultimately, this all culminates (if the giant has one eye open), in our values which guide us through life.

The big message however, is that our experiences can shape our perspective and when that happens it is a huge opportunity for us to recalibrate and assess our current values. It can be as small as you liking mustard as a child and liking it less as an adult.  Or, feeling guilty because you didn’t follow what mainstream dictated and then as you got older, you appreciated that you listened to your own voice, values and goals.


Think about when you were a kid:

Perhaps it brings up pleasant memories especially if you were raised by a loving functional supportive family who modeled healthy lifestyle behaviors; or, maybe your childhood experience was more challenging, meaning that you lived in a toxic family (or lack of family), and your experience was possibly traumatic, neglectful or abusive. Either way, without dismissing either experience, my belief is that you own that experience and you move onward.

You have a choice to use the loving environment you came from as a foundation of appreciation for all that was given to you; or, if your early childhood was just a string of one challenge and one struggle after another, then you can use that negative experience as a launching pad towards healing, forgiving and thriving. It’s your decision based on how you perceive your experience and who you believe you are today as a result of that experience!



You are in the driver seat 24/7. You can change the mental channel you’ve been listening to or stay tuned to the same one. Whatever you decide, it’s your decision and we all know that not making a decision… is a decision.

You might ask, how do I begin to make changes? It’s simple: one thought at a time.

One thought can be very potent. Being mindful of what your choices are and how you feel as you move through life such as: “I’m angry a lot.”   Or, “I’ve struggled with depression for years.”

Recognizing, acknowledging and then doing something different to cope and change.

That is the essence of adjusting your perspective and aligning more with your own values!



Margot Brown is a straight forward couple’s therapist that wrote a self help book for YOU! Her latest book, “Kickstart Your Relationship Now! Move On or Move Out” is waiting for you.

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